Zooming in as a survival tactic

It's okay to make your world temporarily smaller

Note: I wrote most of this on Saturday, but I didn’t have the energy to finish it at the time.

It’s nearly the end of February, and I’ve been dreading sitting down to write anything here all month. I’ve put it off repeatedly, and I still feel at a loss for words.

So far, 2025 has humbled me in ways I at least somewhat anticipated and in ways I wasn’t expecting. As you might imagine, working at a nonprofit that serves LGBTQ+ people and their loved ones in the opening days of Trump’s second term has felt heavy. My to-do list has been crushing, much of my workload has been thrumming with an emotional undercurrent, and I’ve been working odd hours as new disasters strike.

On top of that, several frustrating, difficult things have happened in my personal life over the last few weeks that have made the hours I’m not working anything but restorative. I need a nap or ten, and winning the lottery would be nice too.

When times are shitty, people often turn to me for words of wisdom, hope, or logic. I’m usually pretty skilled at mustering those things up and conveying them in ways that resonate with others.

But today, my friends? Today, I’m not in touch with any of that.

Today, I’m wrapped in a blanket on my couch wishing that winter would finally be over so at least I could dissociate out in the sun.

Today, I won’t be volunteering, or calling my representatives, or donating money, or strategizing.

Today, I feel defeated by all of the cruelty in the world. All of the death and destruction. The hoarding of wealth and power. The us vs them narrative and the scapegoating of the most marginalized.

Today, the best things I will accomplish are cleaning my bathroom and cooking us a homemade dinner for the first time in several days.

I keep hearing the advice that it’s important to have things to look forward to, and I don’t disagree. But in my experience, there are times that warrant zooming out, and there are times that warrant zooming all the way the fuck in.

During the most challenging seasons in my life, the only way I’ve managed to keep putting one foot in front of the other has been to adopt a more granular focus and narrow in on what’s directly in front of me.

When my anxiety is high? When life keeps dealing me cards I never would have chosen for myself? When I’m grieving (especially when I’m grieving)? Those are times when it’s too overwhelming to channel my inner optimist and make plans for the future beyond the current day or, at best, the week I’m navigating.

Instead, I’m asking myself questions like:

• What do I need to ride out this anxiety spike?

• What will it take to get through this workday? What has to get finished and what can wait?

• Have I eaten something? How can I make sure I’m not skipping meals?

• Is there one small thing I can do to feel less overwhelmed and more in control?

• What must happen right now so I can crawl back under the covers this evening and try again tomorrow?

I’m not thinking about my six-month, one-year, or five-year goals. I’m not putting exciting future outings or trips on my calendar. I’m not making new commitments or stretching myself in additional directions.

No. I’m doing what needs to be done to survive and trusting that I will zoom back out when my capacity to do so returns.

And for the record, it always does. Strategic perseverance in my lowest moments is what allows me to stand triumphantly at my highest. Not being hard on myself when I need to zoom in increases my trust in myself so that I feel safe to let my creativity and verve flourish when I’m ready to zoom out.

It’s like when you stop feeding a fire and the flames recede until only glowing embers remain. To the untrained eye, the fire is out. But the truth is that it’s lying in wait. With enough oxygen and fuel, it will come roaring back—a force to be reckoned with.

Sometimes, we have to let ourselves be the embers. We have to purposely use less energy and put out less heat, with the understanding that we’ll build ourselves back up when conditions are favorable. Until then, it’s enough to keep ourselves from being snuffed out.

Keep doing whatever you have to do to survive, friends.

Queerly yours,

Shohreh

To get in touch, shoot me an email at hello@shohrehdavoodi.com. For more from me, follow me on Instagram, TikTok, and Threads.

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