Let's get WEIRD, shall we?
Almost no one wants to be labeled the weird kid at school. Social survival and "coolness" require burying your weirdness away and conforming to whatever is acceptable and popular at the time. That dynamic is so common among teenagers that few people ever stop to reflect on its insidious nature.
Because what is usually acceptable and popular? Whiteness. Straightness. Thinness. Neurotypicalness. Etc. So if you desired to fit in when you were growing up and you were marginalized in any way, you not only had to hide your quirks and idiosyncrasies, you also had to try to stuff yourself into uncomfortable boxes built by systems of oppression. That's heavy stuff, and most of us carry it into adulthood without necessarily realizing all of the judgments, rules, and expectations we internalized from those experiences.
In my opinion, some of the most important work we can do as adult humans is find our way back to our weird and seek out fellow weirdos to accompany us on our journey.
If that's work you want to invest in, you have to drop the negative connotation you associate with weirdness and excavate the parts of yourself you buried because you hoped it would keep you safe.
You can start by getting curious with yourself:
What did you stop doing because you thought (or were explicitly told) it was uncool?
What parts of yourself did you try to diminish because you were made fun of for them?
What things did you distance yourself from because more "important" things crept in and crowded them out?
What would you allow yourself if you knew you wouldn't be judged or ridiculed for partaking in it?
When have you helped perpetuate a culture of conformity and anti-weirdness (likely without consciously knowing it) by judging or ridiculing others?
What makes you uncomfortable when you see it in other people because you wish it was "okay" for you to do it too?
Embracing your weirdness is about embracing your freedom and autonomy as a whole-ass adult who gets to make their own choices. It's about quieting the ramblings of your ghosts of self-doubt and amplifying the volume on your own internal voice. And it's about giving the middle finger to people who want to waste precious time and energy trying to tell you the "right" way to be and act and speak and dress and work and play (spoiler alert: there's no one right way to go about anything in this world).
Plus, when you unapologetically embrace your weirdness, it can act as both a bat signal for similar weirdos to find you and a permission slip for other people to start living more fully as their funky and freaky selves.
So please, y'all—do your inner child a solid and work on being super fucking weird this year. I double-dog dare you. 😉
Queerly yours,
Shohreh
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