Note: I originally wrote this a couple of years ago. Given the state of things right now, I thought it would be a good time to update it and bring it to this platform. If you’re feeling a little lost, I hope this helps. ❤️🩹
Sometimes the world we live in seems like one giant dumpster fire of pain, and it's easy to start feeling despondent and apathetic as a result. Between war, greed, mass shootings, widespread disinformation, the climate crisis, and a billion other things, it’s no wonder so many find themselves asking, “What the hell is the point of all this?”
When I’m starting to feel like everything is terrible and nothing is going to get better, I usually need to let myself stew in that for at least a little bit. In most circumstances, I think that's okay as long as I don't stay simmering for too long. Thankfully, I always get to a point where I want to participate in humanity again. It just becomes a matter of how.
How do you transition from wanting to hibernate forever/let it all burn to the ground/hop on a spaceship to #AnywhereButHere to wanting to get back in the fight and make the best of the complexity of human existence?
It’s a tough question and one I’ve spent considerable time brainstorming on both for my own sake and for the benefit of the folks who look up to me and read my work. So if you've been stewing too and haven't quite figured out how to hoist yourself out of your soup pot yet, I thought I'd give you some ideas.
Here are 10 things to try when the world is a dumpster fire and everything kind of feels like garbage:
If you're stuck in a funk, make sure you're processing your emotions (not just numbing them or burying them). The only way to move through feelings is to actually let yourself feel them. I, too, wish there was an easier way, but no dice. Thankfully, there are a variety of different techniques you can use to process emotions, so choose the ones that feel best for you.
Look for things you can take off your plate entirely or at least give less fucks about for the time being. In seasons when you feel overloaded and overwhelmed, it's important to give yourself grace and create as much breathing room as possible. Can the laundry sit a little longer? Can you cook a less complicated meal or order in? Can you shelve a project until a later date? Search for parts of your life where there's wiggle room and let shit gooooooo.
Take a baby step toward the kind of world you want to live in by doing something thoughtful for someone else, whether a loved one or a stranger. Little things can have a big impact on the lives of others, and one way to respond to the world's terribleness is to double down on your own kindness. You could put a card in the mail, send surprise flowers, shoot someone an affirming DM or text message, or any other number of things. Need ideas? Here are 35 of them.
Give your creativity room to breathe. Something consistent across human existence is our ability to channel our pain into beautiful, remarkable things—as long as we give ourselves the space to do it. When was the last time you let yourself create just to create? Whether you want to paint canvases or your face, produce short films or TikTok videos, bake desserts or throw pottery, artistic outlets can restore your mental health (and even your faith in humanity). Maybe that sculpture, poem, song, community gathering, or event that wants to burst forth from you is exactly what the world needs.
Practice grounding yourself in the present moment when your brain is spinning out of control. Grounding techniques are ways you can bring your mind back to the here and now when things start to feel too heavy or like you're spiraling out. Examples include picking up items and describing how they feel, checking in with your senses, breathwork, taking a noticing walk outside, and counting.
Determine one little thing you can do for yourself today to meet your needs. It's a great self-trust builder to get in the habit of checking in with yourself and responding to what your body is asking for. If you need calm, can you take a few slow, deep breaths? If you need a distraction, can you play a short game or watch a cute animal video? If you need affection, can you hug a loved one or pet (or even yourself)?
Remind yourself of all the things that bring you joy by making a list. Refocusing on my joy is one of my favorite ways to help me remember that there is still stuff to get out of bed for, fight for, and live for. If it would be helpful to see a sample list, here's one I made in the past. Another variation of this is making a list of all the beauty that exists in the world even amongst the pain.
Determine where you have influence. When tragedy strikes, most of us feel helpless to change anything, but everyone has something to offer in terms of power, resources, skills/talents, and connections. Consider what power and influence you already have and how you can use it to push the world in a better direction.
Take a self-compassion break. Self-compassion is about extending yourself kindness and the benefit of the doubt, just like you do for others in your life, particularly those you love. It requires noticing and accepting your pain and suffering, feeling moved by that pain and suffering, and offering yourself understanding of that pain and suffering because it's part of the human experience. One way to practice self-compassion is to take an intentional self-compassion break (here are instructions for doing so from Dr. Kristin Neff, the author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself).
Lean into pleasure and joy (yes, really). You might think when horrible things are happening that the last thing you should be doing is trying to prioritize pleasure and joy, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Pleasure is an act of resistance. If your body is the epicenter of the oppression enacted against you as a queer person, a trans person, a BIPOC person, a woman, and so on, then reclaiming pleasure and joy in defiance of that oppression is a middle finger to the system and all who uphold it. So how can you provide yourself and your greater community with more pleasure and joy today?
Stay consumed in the fiery trash can flames for a bit if you must, just make sure while you're in there you don't forget how much this world needs you and your magic. Because the only way this world gets better is if we all demand that it does.
Rise from the ashes. Keep fighting.
Queerly yours,
Shohreh
To get in touch, shoot me an email at hello@shohrehdavoodi.com. For more from me, follow me on Instagram, TikTok, and Threads.
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